Rosebowl Auditorium is abuzz with FANS, most wearing LEIS and BURGUNDY SWEATERS with BLOCK LETTERS.
A BLACKEYED PEA appears at the 50-yard line.
BLACKEYED PEA: Join me in singing the Lord’s Prayer!
TIM TEBOW: I will lead the prayer.
Penn State plays football against Duke. Duke scores a TOUCHDOWN.
REF: You may choose a field goal, a punt or a safety.
DUKE: There’s no such thing as a safety, so we choose field goal.
BLACKEYED PEA: We will now sing, but not as long as at the Super Bowl!
Second half. The teams switch sides in case the field is SLANTED.
Penn State scores a touchdown.
REF: You don’t get a safety, because you had a coach that raped children. This is how we punish that in football.
There is a PARADE. A marching band plays the MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE theme.
CROWD: This was superior to the Super Bowl, which we only watch for the commercials.
Everything comes up ROSES.
REF: Friday Night Lights wins the game!