Rosebowl Auditorium is abuzz with FANS, most wearing LEIS and BURGUNDY SWEATERS with BLOCK LETTERS.

A BLACKEYED PEA appears at the 50-yard line.

BLACKEYED PEA: Join me in singing the Lord’s Prayer!

TIM TEBOW: I will lead the prayer.

Penn State plays football against Duke. Duke scores a TOUCHDOWN.

REF: You may choose a field goal, a punt or a safety.

DUKE: There’s no such thing as a safety, so we choose field goal.

Halftime.

BLACKEYED PEA: We will now sing, but not as long as at the Super Bowl!

Second half. The teams switch sides in case the field is SLANTED.

Penn State scores a touchdown.

REF: You don’t get a safety, because you had a coach that raped children. This is how we punish that in football.

There is a PARADE. A marching band plays the MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE theme.

CROWD: This was superior to the Super Bowl, which we only watch for the commercials.

Everything comes up ROSES.

REF: Friday Night Lights wins the game!

Photo CC University of Wisconsin Digital Collections on Flickr