Philips AVENT, which makes things for feeding babies, made this “viral ad” full of moms showing how they make their babies fall asleep. And they pitched me on it and I was ready to hate it but nope it’s gripping.

And it’s creepy. I thought babies only ever fell asleep through a long, painful process, like adults. But these babies fall asleep instantly, like a switch turned, each after a special trigger.

The trigger is just “let him hold a washrag” or “tap her nose” but I made it sound more Manchurian Candidate on purpose, because that is how it feels. If a person shuts down this quickly, it’s because something in the brain is broken.

Philips AVENT breaks babies’ brains.

Marketing people: Keep sending me these videos!