@ZooeySiri is full of questions Zooey Deschanel would ask Siri. You know, because she did that iPhone ad where she was whimsical with Siri.

Man, people really like to mock tweedom.

Siri, could you fill a water bed with Sangria?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 19, 2012

Siri, add “kissing an Asian on the forehead” to my bucket list.

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 3, 2012

Siri, where can I buy a water damaged ukulele?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 3, 2012

Siri, do you think God ever wants a friend?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 3, 2012

Siri, can you feed chinchillas hummus?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 5, 2012

Siri, is there a chinchilla veterinarian nearby?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 5, 2012

Siri, can you get frostbite from an ice cream cone, because my hands sure are cold!

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 7, 2012

Siri, make a note: “Weeble whoop wah wah wompus.”

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 7, 2012

Siri, what’s an appropriate gift for a chameleon’s Eagle Scout ceremony?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 8, 2012

Siri, what’s Obama’s stance on sick children?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 10, 2012

Siri, what was Zelda Fitzgerald’s favorite drink?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 11, 2012

Siri, do they make clear sunglasses?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 11, 2012

Siri, what wines go best with Skittles?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 11, 2012

Siri, how many calories are in a shot of Gushers syrup?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 12, 2012

Siri, schedule my date tonight for 7:45 at “that park bench near the button factory”.

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 12, 2012

Siri, get me directions to “that park bench near the button factory”.

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 12, 2012

Siri, where can I find a Power Rangers kimono?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 13, 2012

Siri, how do I adopt a star?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 13, 2012

Siri, can you ship a ship?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 14, 2012

Siri, do you think chairs are sitting or standing?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 15, 2012

Siri, where can I get a flea circus?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 16, 2012

Siri, how expensive would it be to replace all the lights in my house with fireflies?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 18, 2012

Siri, are there any comedy open mics tomorrow night?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 18, 2012

Siri, set up a date tomorrow night at 7 to do my stand-up at Zen Humor Palace.

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 18, 2012

Siri, make a note: “And what’s the deal with rain? It’s like a shower that you DON’T want!”

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 18, 2012

Siri, make a note: “How does football even work? Run, stop. Run, stop. It’s like watching a YouTube video on someone.else’s Wi-Fi!”

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 19, 2012

Siri, do they make guilt-free frogs’ legs?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 20, 2012

Siri, do ghosts believe in aliens?

— Zooey Asks Siri (@ZooeySiri) May 21, 2012

Via: Meredith Haggerty