Alex Branson‘s jokes indicate a deep understanding of the internet’s vernacular, the ways we actually end up talking and interpreting words online. That sounds dry, but I’m talking about forum wars and sexts:

*puts on satin, full length pajamas for men, slips into bed* yes… time to text some girls the word ‘hey’ and only the word ‘hey’

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) October 18, 2011

(Would Sonic’s Dick Be Blue or Tan Like His Tummy Is) Viewing Discussion Page 307 of 1,108. “Fuck You Reagan actually cared about America–”

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) May 23, 2012

By Deleting My Facebook I Will Prove That I Am The Thomas Pynchon Of My Generation

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) February 4, 2012

Tony Hawk dies, and in heaven he sees a sign saying ‘No Skateboarding’. That was when the real adventure began. #NaNoWriMoOpeners

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) November 3, 2011

and the award for childhood video gamecharacter most likely to not wear a condom goes to wario

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) May 22, 2012

#E3Rumors overweight “journalists” in hotel rooms in the late evenings will masturbate silently onto their own nude stomachs

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) May 29, 2012

WARNING: street signs are just tiny books!!!! don’t read them!!!

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) October 24, 2011

the coolest thing about when people say obama is ‘not my president’ is that he still is

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) March 6, 2012

i demand to be judged by a jury of my peers *courtroom suddenly swarms with hundreds of anime characters chanting ‘not guilty’*

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) January 17, 2012

every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) November 16, 2010

its sexist of feminists to have a ‘woman’s shelter’. i mean why can’t I go IN!?!??!?!? *hundreds of thousands white men applaud*

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) January 28, 2012

The internet troll sweated over a worn notebook. the pages were fill with incoherent scrawls. ‘GAYtendo Gamecube?’ he wrote. Almost there.

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) May 24, 2012

Nuremberg Trials. Göring approaches the stand. He clears his throat. “If you can’t LOVE me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my BEST”

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) January 25, 2012

Branson is also good at Facebook:

i love it when a plan comes togehter facebook.com/Lunchables/pos…

— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) April 12, 2012