The following are real reactions to a real conference call, IMed to me by a friend at a terrible office job. This authorized series will recur every time he suffers such a meeting. — Ed.

Guy on this call just said “could you add a little more flavor?” To a webpage.

And it sounds like someone else on the call has a baby? And is driving a car with the windows down? Look out for your baby!

Oh lord. Developer asks good question. Product manager gives him very condescending rephrasing of his question. Rephrasing is incorrect. Developer asks again. I die inside.