Ray Romano is not a difficult man to imitate. It’s Kermit plus Brooklyn. And yet there are so many beautifully shitty impressions of him on YouTube. Most come from four to six years ago, when Everybody Loves Raymond was still on the air and online video quality was shoddy and uncomfortable (the same way that 70s video quality made everyone look vaguely like Trololo Guy). All this makes a perfect storm of embarrassment for even the most talented comedians imitating Raymond and his TV family.

—

One man does the whole Barone family from Everybody Loves Raymond: Ray, Brandon, Frank and Marie.

Slacktory sous-blogger Henry said on our Tumblr: “This guy put a lot of work into recording his shitty impressions. And at no point was a trusted friend like, ‘Hey, those impressions are really shitty, don’t put any extra effort into recording your shitty impressions. I am saying this as a close friend who is honest with you.’”

—

Jack Dani shoots a comedy show while driving his car. It’s not bad! But you don’t have to be bad for your Ray Romano impression to be shitty.

—

Watch how amused these guys are at themselves and each other. This man looks nothing like Ray Romano! Also, guys, shoot some coverage! Prepare the camera for the zoom! Do a take where you don’t cough! Have some respect for your craft, for Christ’s sake.

—

Piotr Michael explores the Kermit-Ray crossover, a few years after Family Guy did it.

—

Family Guy does it.

—

Pete Holmes is a legitimate comic. But he really cranks the shitty (“Slacktory: We really crank the shitty”) and makes the minute and a half of “Ray Romano Sings” feel like an excruciating full-length album.

—

And he does it again, because fuck us.

—

Go 27 seconds in. A professional comedian on the goddamn Late Showand his Ray Romano is awkward and sloppy. His Robert is a little Porky Piggish too.

—

Skip to 1:47. Even Ray Romano does a bad Ray Romano.

It is raining heavily outside as I write this. It is raining heavily in my heart as well.

—

I don’t understand why he’s speaking into a professional microphone, then using the camera audio for the video.

—

This has the best of all possible intro texts (sic all of the following): “Me doing stand up at Billy Joes in Des Moines! This my Ray Romono Impression — He’s asking for sex.”

—

The one YouTube tradition greater than hateful comments is shooting videos without any planning. Please turn this off after ten seconds. Thank you.

 —

I’m learning an important rule of comedy: It’s super-fun to follow Raymond Barone with Robert Barone.

—

Henry and I agree this is the best approach to a shitty Ray Romano impression: Get in, get out, be polite.

—

Same as above. Here, what feels like disrespect for the viewer’s precious seconds is, in fact, expert timing.

—

By now you should feel a numbing semantic satiation for the name “Deborah”.

—

Listen to this goofball calling Ray Romano a goofball.

—

This happened this year. I hate these two guys for their waste of enviable production quality. The lyrics are good. But Ray Romano sounds nothing like this and oh god my life, what happened to my life?