As the legal battle between Apple and Samsung rages on in court, new details of a patent issued to Steve Jobs and Apple have surfaced, leading many to wonder if the patent system should have a serious conversation about how it issues protection to innovators.
That conversation, as it turns out, may be covered in the unearthed patent.
Our crack team of patent specialists have found a patent issued to Steve Jobs that actually patents the patent issuing process. The patent was applied for by Jobs on his death bed and was awarded to Apple last week.
In the document, secured from the US Patent and Trademark Office, Jobs wrote he was unsatisfied with how patents were being applied for and issued by the USPTO. The patent describes a more streamlined process (named iPatent, $.99 on the App Store) which would automatically compare any requested patents, summarize the results, and send them to a board of Apple executives for a ruling.
Bryan Oceancrest, Vice President of Operations at the USPTO, issued a brief statement to Dirty Rotten Apples:
Steve Jobs had it right. We had no clue what was going on, really. I mean, how did we get to this point? As it turns out, issuing any and all patents to every schmuck that applies didn’t help anyone. Now that Apple owns the patent for the patent issuing process we expect to be running much, much smoother. I had an “i” joke, but iCan’t remember it. Haha, j/k. –BryBry
Though Apple appears to have applied for this patent for defensive purposes in court, don’t be surprised if it uses its new firepower to completely destroy any competitors that feel the need to buy up caches of patents from dying companies in an attempt to strong-arm the Cupertino computer maker into settling for some of its billions of cash.
Apple is expected to release iPatent for iOS alongside iOS 6 later this fall, and the entire patent process should be running like butter early next year. No lawsuits relating to the new patent issuing patent have been filed, though Apple is expected to file a patent on the process of suing itself.
See more Apple tech humor at Dirty Rotten Apples.