On your right you’ll see the Wrigley Building, known for its FUCKING MOVE YOU STUPID ASSHOLE.
On your left, you’ll see a building with beautiful gothic architecture [hears honking below] WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT
ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING STAND FOR THIS
HONK YOUR HORN
HONK YOUR HORN LONGER, TED
TELL THIS ASSHOLE TO MOVE
[points] Note the flying buttresses up there. They’re really old.
GO AROUND US
JESUS FUCK, WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THESE OLD BUILDINGS
I KNOW YOU CAN FUCKING HEAR ME. [looks down at a driver, points at microphone]
FUCKING GO AROUND
ARE YOU NOT GOING BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE BUILDINGS?
THIS FUCKING TOUR ISN’T FREE
GET OUTTA HERE
[whispers to crowd on bus, away from microphone, giving the tour so the guy in the car can't hear]
[whispers more, points at car down below, continues whispering]
YOU’RE RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE, YOU KNOW
THEY ALL AGREE WE HATE YOU
WELCOME TO HISTORIC CHICAGO.
Photo by Michael Pereckas on Flickr