That last time you meet up with an ex so she can give you all your stuff back is like when you unsubscribe from a mailing list and then they send you that one final “you’ve been successfully unsubscribed” email.

Only nobody’s ever accidentally had sex with that final email. “I don’t know what happened! I just saw that newsletter and all those old feelings and habits came back! I just banged that email, right there on the table.”

That is how breakups and email are different.