Nobody likes Sorry. There’s nobody who ever liked Sorry who wasn’t a dick.

— Merlin Mann

Scruples was the one where it’d be like, “Tie up your dick. Yes or no.” I’m sure there were advertisements for that game that had a guy asking a terrible question and then a lady whispering “Ssscrupllles.”

— Scott Simpson

The Rules (iTunes link) is the August 2012 episode of the long-running comedy podcast “You Look Nice Today”, by Merlin Mann, Adam Lisagor, and Scott Simpson. It is possibly the show’s crowning moment. I had to wash my face after this because I’d cried from laughing too hard.

Do you understand the intensity? My body was physically wracked by spoken words alone. I want you to share that experience. This is what it is to be human.

The first act of the show is about treating car dealerships like coffeeshops; the second is about the British Museum. The last act covers the horror of board games and their adult fans, and the denouement explores Amish sex toys, which sounds like a corny setup but is in fact sublime. While the entire episode is impressive, you can skip to 30:16 for the impeccable nine-minute game-and-dildos sequence.

Go listen. (Skip the text intro til after.)