Alex Schmidt

— 8 posts

Writer/GIF animator/Blogger for WitStream and CollegeHumor, stand-up comedian in Brooklyn, copyright holder on the nickname "Schmidty". Twitter: @AlexSchmidty

1165 views, No comments

The 5 stages of the new Daft Punk

2013/05/14

I’ve been going through them for months now. Recognize any of these emotions in yourself?

1. DENIAL

Nope nope nope this is NOT going to be like when Alive 2007 owned the end of my 2007 and all of my 2008 and parts of my 2009. I’ll just watch this YouTube clip of the combined SNL promos one. more. time. [Repeat dozens of times]

2. ANGER

Woooooooah-kay, that Soundcloud file is NOT the actual full version of “Get Lucky”. I’m going to savage this latest faker in an Internet comment section. That busywork makes the waiting easier, right? [Repeat dozens of times]

See the rest of the five-step Daft Punk process. »
1000 views, 2 comments

All the Cougar Town title card jokes

2013/04/17

The creators of ABC/TBS’s “Cougar Town” hate their show’s title so much that they’ve tried to change it several times. And starting with season 2, they added a joke to the title card nearly every episode, mocking their own show’s name.

Music: The Cougar Town theme song, “In the Moment” by Waz
422 views, No comments

4 reasons Hugh Grant and Hulk Hogan are the same person

2013/03/06

Here’s proof that the star of Notting Hill and the six-time WWF champion play the same cultural role, even though they seem like they’re worlds apart:

1. They’re both performing artists whom no one wants to see as an “artist.”

Hugh Grant hasn’t just never been nominated for an Oscar. Hugh Grant has zero Academy Award nominations even though he starred in movies nominated for Best Picture in 1993 and 1994 and 1995. That means the Academy paid very close attention to his acting in multiple quality films, yet still snubbed him hard. Hugh has had to settle for the mild praise of a single Golden Globe win for his role in Four Weddings and a Funeral, beating out “respected” thespians like Jim Carrey and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hulk Hogan, of course, has the same problem. Read on. »
881 views, No comments

Inane responses to celebrity tweets

2013/02/19

Celebrities: they’re just like us, but with SO many more Twitter followers. Maybe that’s why regular people feel comfortable tweeting starstruck nonsense at the world’s most influential social media users. I assume—or I hope—they figure it’s just going to fly under the radar of the rich and famous, and no one will ever notice that they communicated some embarrassingly dopey sputterings to their favorite famous person.

Nothing flies under our bottom-feeding radar, though, so here’s some tweets that answered celebrity blather with even less impressive online repartee:

See 11 more mouth-breathing celeb shoutouts. »
9421 views, 12 comments

“Arrested Development” is George Sr.’s death row fantasy

2013/02/11

Let’s assume the following about Arrested Development:

Everything from the beginning of the pilot episode till the main act break, when the SEC raids the Bluths’ boat party and arrests George Sr., actually happened.

From there, George Sr. is rightly convicted of treason (for aiding Saddam Hussein, as revealed in later episodes of the show) and receives a death sentence.

George Sr. is held prisoner in the awful conditions afforded to an enemy of the United States who is awaiting execution.

George Sr. is psychologically unprepared for this kind of horror, and suffers a mental breakdown.

From there the rest of Arrested Development is a fantasy George Sr. plays out in his mind fulltime, to avoid facing his own guilt and his own mortality.

See ten ways the whole series makes a lot more sense in this scenario. »
412 views, 3 comments

8 directors remake Star Wars

2013/01/23

So Zack Snyder was, and then wasn’t, making a Seven Samurai ripoff within the Star Wars universe for Disney. He’s got a very distinctive style, so everyone had the potential movie appear fully formed in their mind’s eye as soon as they heard the news.

And since Disney’s planning to do a bunch of Star Wars universe movies beyond the new trilogy, we’ve got a lot more auteur Jedi epics to imagine. So here’s what will come to mind if any critically acclaimed directors get a rumored chance to build on George Lucas’s legacy.

First up: Woody Allen’s ‘To Tatooine With Love’ »
10572 views, 1 comment

The guy who went to the inauguration thinking Obama lost

2013/01/18

See how the rest of Inauguration Day goes for Mike Nielson. »
693 views, 1 comment

GIFs with the captions switched

2013/01/16

We noticed this technique on the slick original GIF blog GIF Movie. So we copied it! Because this should be a whole new genre.

1.

See nine more swapped GIF captions. »