Finn the Human, Adventure Time co-hero with Jake the Dog, has an intense “Bill and Ted”-style exclamatory vocabulary. It’s not “LOL random” — it follows certain rules of portmanteau, euphemisms, and droll self-awareness of self-actualization. Our video editor Bryan Menegus collected all his best shouts in this original Slacktory supercut.
Until a few weeks ago I thought SpongeBog SquarePants was this vapid kids-only show with no “alt” value, and completely missed its subversive and legitimately hilarious aspects. I could see someone making the same mistake here, if they weren’t aware of Adventure Time‘s long-term satire of children’s shows and development into a mystical art piece. But anyway, let’s watch Finn shout some stuff.
Here’s a weird but totally factual statement: Because of the weather, I didn’t have a job last week. As someone who A) relies entirely on the internet for income and b) was among those who lost electricity because of Tropical Post-Rock Hurricane Sandy, I had a whole lot of time to be alone with my thoughts — a pastime everyone pretty much hates.
In the interest of beating back any nagging memories of embarrassment and wrongdoing, I resorted to the only form of entertainment that works when everything fun is broken: board games. This is how they’ve held up since my childhood.
Pros: It’s a war game that doesn’t require almost any tactical strategy whatsoever.
Cons: I lost a bunch of the pieces (see: tried melting them, then threw them out) since the last time I wanted to play Battleship, putting me at a disadvantage that simulated actual warfare. Chalk it up to variant defense spending between sovereign nations.
Someone should probably give him an angry lecture and threaten to take his badge.
Includes footage from Die Hard, Die Harder, Die Hard With a Vengeance, Live Free or Die Hard, the trailer for A Good Day to Die Hard, Armageddon, Bandits, The Color of Night, Cop Out, Death Becomes Her, Hostage, Hudson Hawk, Last Man Standing, Lucky Number Slevin, Mercury Rising, Pulp Fiction, RED, Sin City, Striking Distance, Surrogates, Tears of the Sun, The Fifth Element, The Jackal, The Last Boy Scout, The Expendables 2, & The Whole Nine Yards with Matthew “The Human Saltine” Perry.
Every episode of Bob’s Burgers starts with its own small version of the Simpsons couch gag: each time the opening theme plays, a different store opens up next to Bob’s. And in each episode are one to four pun-based “daily special” burgers. In honor of last night’s season premiere of Bob’s Burgers, here’s every one of them from the first two seasons.
The only thing cooler than drinking alone is drinking in an office. The only thing cooler than that is being Don Draper. Since Mad Men first came on the air, it has grabbed our hearts and our livers and taken us for a ride. Here’s to the trip.