Jason Oberholtzer

— 21 posts

Jason Oberholtzer lives on the Internet. He cuts his own hair. Tweet at him @ilovecharts.

3707 views, 7 comments

Venn Diagram fail on the NY Subway

2012/10/03

A few weeks ago, I took a picture of this ad I found on the NY Subway and forgot to do anything with it. I apologize, my mind was elsewhere — probably unpacking the trip’s later encounter with a young man who tried to elicit money from me by “tying my shoe for Jesus” and was then baffled by the way I wear my laces*.

Anyway, thanks to my Twitter friends @Thalesdisciple and @mackenzief, this ad is back on my radar and can finally get the ridicule it deserves.

Let the ridicule commence. »
128 views, No comments
What tonight’s shocking video may be about

2012/10/02

Matt Drudge is reporting that a video may come out tonight, on the eve of the first Presidential Debate, that will “cause controversy, ignite accusations of racism — in both directions!”

Here are our best guesses as to what that video will contain.
- Mickey Rooney’s scenes from Breakfast at Tiffany’s
- Footage of an unannounced Tintin sequel based on the book Tintin in the Congo
- Something immaterial Fox News will go into seizures over
- A collection of early Disney cartoons
- 70% of the things said on Fox And Friends
- A lost episode of Outsourced
- Matt Drudge reading from his journal
366 views, No comments

Do you believe in golf?

2012/10/02

This may shock you, but some people who use reddit are atheists. I know, you would think they would be more vocal about it. Well, we found a parody subreddit r/nongolfers devoted to decrying golf with the same passion atheists decry God.

The jokes are best when they use classic atheist subreddit tropes. For example, Facebook missionary work.

See more nonbelievers. »
1173 views, No comments

Have a sad lunch, everybody

2012/10/02

62% of American office workers usually eat their lunch in the same spot they work all day. Is this true? I have no idea. But that’s what the creators of the Tumblr Sad Desk Lunch say, so I believe them.

Sad Desk Lunch chronicles those wax paper-wrapped, Tupperware-contained moments of midday depression-mitigation collectively known as lunch.

What makes these so depressing are those little bits of personality, desperately added to keep morale from flagging, to remind the lunch-packer that he or she is a person with preferences and needs and feelings and not just the occupant of a chair, facing a computer, so easily replaceable, so entirely unloved — a slice of lemon.

It gets worse. »
911 views, No comments

7 Ridiculous trends you can still buy into

2012/10/02

Miss these trends when they were actually trends? Fear not, people are still making this stuff so you can get in now!

1) Zipoff pants ($49.99 – Ladies Love Bean)

2) Beanie babies ($4.99 – TY)

Buy your way into more trends.»
2753 views, No comments

The best Garfield parody you are not reading

2012/10/01

Forget Garfield Minus Garfield, this is Garfield plus barf. And that’s just the beginning. Barfield, a comic by legend of Internet oddities The Reverend Brendan Powell Smith is a trip into the darker side of Garfield you never knew you needed.

Barfield sets up the premise in its first strip.

You see, Garfield barfs. Simple. However, if that’s where the joke ended we certainly wouldn’t be talking about it here. Barfield goes strange and wonderful places during its run of 66 comics both doubling down on its one note theme and allowing the theme to decompose in a manner reminiscent of Slacktory’s favorite web series, the Jerry Seinfeld Program.

barf on. »
204 views, No comments

See the world like you would actually see it

2012/10/01

Travel blogs are designed to make you feel bad about yourself. Check it out, pretty people in pretty places eating pretty things! Live through their pictures; revel in their travel acumen; pretend their DSLR is the projection of your potential, your eyes on the road, so far from your desk and that burrito you just ordered for breakfast on GrubHub.

Worse, when you actually do have occasion to travel, you find yourself trying to live up to the standard set by these bloggers. If you didn’t do eight of the twelve greatest attractions at your destination, you aren’t shit — not a single piece. Your lobster didn’t come in a martini glass garnished with unicorn hair? Go home, failure. You suck at traveling.

Thankfully, so does this guy! Introducing my favorite new Tumblr, Sights of the World. Here is a travel blogger more my speed. Here he is in China:

travel further. >>
1394 views, No comments

Reverse Racism Randy: A Slacktory Advice Meme

2012/09/18

Reverse Racism Randy’s schtick is pretty obvious. He wants to feel oppressed, despite playing life on Easy Mode.

(Randy is based on a picture of Senator Jon Tester, who actually seems really decent. This meme is a response to his face alone, not his politics.)

See how Reverse Racism Randy handles life in this new advice meme. »
1912 views, 7 comments

Bill Haters: People Who Hate Bill Hader

2012/07/19

The Internet likes Bill Hader. The Internet really likes Bill Hader. Just how much does The Internet like Bill Hader? When you google “Bill Hader sucks” the third result that comes up is an IGN message board, “Bill Hader is a genius.”

Using their incredibly I-didn’t-take-the-time-to-figure-out-how-it-works algorithm, the opinion gathering dataheads over at Amplicate polled the Twitterverse and could only find one guy who hates Bill Hader.

Yep, this guy: @fartsman.

See more of the weird world of Bill Hader haters. »
8966 views, 4 comments

Ceci N’est Pas un Poste: 24 Parodies of “The Treachery of Images”

2012/03/26

Guest contributor Jason Oberholtzer runs I Love Charts and Forbes’s Charts and Leisure.

In 1928-1929, a 30-year-old René Magritte painted La trahison des images, which depicts a pipe with “Ceci n’est pas une pipe” (“This is not a pipe”) written underneath. La trahison remains arguably Magritte’s most recognizable painting, even more famous than his gentleman with apple faces.

The better part of a century later, people are still obsessed with the concept and, as is the logical next step these days, his classic painting has become memeified. Below are my 24 favorite Magritte parodies.

This is, in fact, a ‘read more’ link. »