Nick Douglas

Imperial Grand Editor — 577 posts

Slacktory's founding editor, the former editor of Gawker Media's Valleywag and AOL's Urlesque. He is the editor of the 2009 book "Twitter Wit," and has contributed to Wired, Slate, PC Mag, Esquire.com, Gawker and BlackBook. He lives in New York with his girlfriend, who understands what a ragetoon is.

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“Singles”: A Mind-Bending Cartoon by an “Adventure Time” Writer

2012/05/16

God I love recursive shit. “Singles”, a three-minute cartoon by Rebecca Sugar, is about a little universe with heavy recursion. It’s about a guy who lives in his own stomach.

If I did what the main character did, halfway through, I wouldn’t know how to get back home. That’s how dumb I am. I’d check my phone for a cheat code.

Watch the best-ever cartoon about making a sandwich. »
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Reddit’s “What Is Your ‘Never Again’ Brand, Item, Store, or Restaurant?” Thread Slams RoseArt, Red Lobster, K-mart, and Pizza Hut

2012/05/16

Reddit keeps making good threads, we keep picking out the best parts. This time it’s consumer horror stories. Remember that any of these could be fake.

Radbrad7 asked Reddit: What is your “never again” brand, item, store, or restaurant?

There are a lot of typical whines — PayPal, Zynga, Ticketmaster, HP, Geek Squad — that got major upvotes because everyone knows those brands suck. Also, your dog food is killing your dog. But we’re gonna focus on the weird, funny and interesting stories.

Pandorus hits us with Mega-Bloks-level hatestalgia:

RoseArt…I mean fuck do they make their crayons out of earwax?

Jwestmaxx replies that RoseArt was particularly awful for colorblind kids, since it didn’t label the crayons. Others speculate that there was a paperclip rod embedded in each scratchy crayon.

Vranak offers advice:

Never trust a company that substitutes a Z for an S.

Alpackabackapacka still left a nice tip:

Applebee’s. Got a shard of ceramic plate in my ice cream dessert thing and it sliced and diced the inside of my mouth. I was drooling blood before I really noticed. Didn’t hurt much but the manager asked if I had bit the plate (the fuck?) and only gave me a 10% off coupon for my next dessert there. Cheeky asshat.

Suelinaa replies:

Once the manager of Applebee’s came around and asked how the food was. I said “Actually, not that good.” He shrugged, replied “Eh, it’s Applebee’s, it happens” and walked away.

Read the rest of Reddit’s best brand regrets. »
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Slacktory Supercut: Awkward!

2012/05/16

As South Park taught us, comedy isn’t about jokes any more. It’s about saying “Awkward!”

Watch the punchline to replace all punchlines. »
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1-Year-Old and 3-Year-Old Sing Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know”

2012/05/16

Nailed it.

Watch it. »
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“You’re vs Your”: Mac Lethal’s Rap Battle Against Bad Spelling

2012/05/16

There were so many reasons to think I’d hate this: the guy put up a poster of Bill Hicks and he’s wearing a t-shirt of Louis C.K. — is that egotistical or karma-whoring? Plus he’s rapping about “your” vs. “you’re”, a pretty worn-out subject.

But Mac Lethal — the rapid rapper (kill me) who slammed Chris Brown while flipping pancakes and got 23 million views — is so sharp and swift that he transcends “lol nerd rap” novelty, and his authenticity-signaling hero worship fits fine with the rest of his heavy referentiality.

Also, he’s rapping over Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know”.

Watch Mac Lethal rap about ‘you’re’ vs. ‘your’. »
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Almost Politically Correct Redneck: A New Advice Meme

2012/05/16

Almost Politically Correct Redneck loves Mexicans because they’re the best dishwashers. He thinks Barack Obama is a pretty cool colored person. He’s the perfect symbol of our nation’s current awkward transition to more enlightened social mores.

Here are the best examples of this new meme, plus a few of my own.

See the almost-OK, then really not OK, opinions. »
66 views, No comments

The “Worst Video Game Voices” Guy Is Still Great

2012/05/15

A year ago, Dean Lauderdale lip-synched the 50 worst video game voice performances and got almost a million views. Last week he posted his fourth video of video game lip-synchs. They have not gotten less funny.

Watch all four of Dean’s voice-over lip-synchs. »
107 views, No comments

“Smile”: Dean Fleischer-Camp Does the “Pretending to Take a Photo” Prank Better Than You

2012/05/15

Taking a video but pretending to take a photo is a very old, very common prank. But Dean Fleischer-Camp is Jenny Slate’s husband and the co-creator of Marcel the Shell With Shoes On, so he does it best. Especially to Jenny.

Watch Dean’s prank. »
29 views, 2 comments

A Bet With Greg Rutter About Krispy Kreme

2012/05/15

Greg Rutter, ad writer and lister of things you should have seen, posted the first video from definitely-deliberately-bad rapper Krispy Kreme with a caption implying they were “real”. The following email conversation ensued.

Nick: There’s no way Krispy Kreme are serious.

Greg: Absolutely serious. It’s art! My fiancée watched it and laughed just as hard as I did. That doesn’t happen!

Nick: We should make a public gentleman’s bet. Loser has to star in some animated GIFs?

Greg: Deal! Wait, what kind of GIF? Oh god what have I gotten myself into? Also I’m very drunk.

What kind of GIF? I do not know. Suggestions are welcome below. »
105 views, 1 comment

“Haters Wanna Be Me”: Krispy Kreme Has a New Music Video and Is Definitely Intentionally Funny

2012/05/15

Krispy Kreme, the rural rapper from the million-view April hit “The Baddest”, already has a second music video out. This time he credits his silent partner “Money Maker Mike.”

Sample line: “Have you ever been to the county fair? / I rode the Fireball and I wasn’t even scared.”

Watch Krispy Kreme’s Karl-Pilkington-level-hilarious music video. »
688 views, No comments

The Archer Alignment Chart

2012/05/14

Everyone on the FX show Archer tends toward chaotic neutral, so I mapped them out on two different axes: Niceness and competence.
169 views, 1 comment

This “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” Clip Is Far More Horrific Than It Wants You to Think

2012/05/14

The following isn’t timely; a lot of you have known it for two decades. Too bad.

I didn’t watch much Fresh Prince so I forgot about Hilary’s boyfriend Trevor, who proposed to her while bungee-jumping on live TV, and how that turned out.

Aggravatingly, embedding is disabled. So click and watch the video, then come back.

Ha ha ha! What funny slapstick! He fell to the ground! Aunt Viv tries to hide it from Ashley! They keep running jokes after the accident. Comedy! Laughtrack!

Turns out Trevor died. Cool prayers, Uncle Phil.

While Hilary was playing dumb about the President so we could keep laughing, her boyfriend was dead. She just watched him die on live television. Later she brings back the wrong ashes from the crematorium, where he was presumably sent because his earth-buffeted body was too mangled for a proper burial.

This is a story all about how her life got flipped, turned upside down. She’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, she’ll tell you how she became queen of a town called despair.

Via: These Reddit comments
9070 views, 1 comment

Reddit Thread: Pick a Movie Title, Remove a Letter, Describe the Movie

2012/05/14

Redditor grubbzter wrote two weeks ago in /r/funny: “Pick a movie, remove one letter, give a brief description. I’ll start: Harry Otter. Early 80′s porno featuring an excessively hairy man.”

Replies came in. They were good. I’ve picked the best — jokes with an unexpected twist and a well-written description.

TwasARockLobsta:

Pollo 13: The gripping true story of a Spanish chicken stranded in space and NASA’s unrelenting effort to bring him safely home.

NoMomo:

S7en: Brad Pitt is a swedish detective.

Virgilijus:

Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dad: The exact same movie as Mrs. Doubtfire.

kavorka2:

Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s DEA: Four kids go undercover to bust their drug-dealing parents.

Read more of Reddit’s wittiest movie adaptations. »
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The Weirdos From “Who Needs a Movie?” Are Still Making Exquisitely Horrible Videos

2012/05/14

I wanna talk about Fred and Sharon, the couple from the famously terrible “Who Needs a Video?” ad, and how they’ve made dozens of equally weird videos since then, particularly this one about Russell Brand divorcing Katy Perry.

One thing I value in a bizarre internet video is a peek into a world unsullied by my own. So it’s sad to know that Fred and Sharon have heard of celebrities and have opinions about them. Hearing that Sharon even knew of Russell Brand and Katy Perry was like finding my picturesque rural hometown got a McDonald’s. All Look Same in this flat brand-driven world.

But thankfully she’s still all Sharon about it, still satisfyingly weird and old-fashioned.

Watch Fred and Sharon make what HAS to be intentional comedy, right? No? No, it’s real I think. Wow. »
142 views, 1 comment

Let’s Watch This Guy Jump at His Own Impressive Domino Trick

2012/05/14

Did you know a domino can knock down another domino 150% its size? Did you know physics professors (I assume) still jump even when they know what’s coming?

Watch this domino trick! He uses tweezers! »

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