Slacktory's founding editor, the former editor of Gawker Media's Valleywag and AOL's Urlesque. He is the editor of the 2009 book "Twitter Wit," and has contributed to Wired, Slate, PC Mag, Esquire.com, Gawker and BlackBook. He lives in New York with his girlfriend, who understands what a ragetoon is.
While checking my Facebook spam, I saw someone’s pitch for an Indiegogo project called “StarLikeMe”. The idea: What if one website did everything all the biggest websites do? What if this site didn’t combine the existing sites, but by replicating the systems that took collective billions of dollars to build and maintain, all for twenty grand?
Do you want to blog (Tumblr); tweet (Twitter); post a message for a friend (Facebook); upload a video (YouTube); store photos (Flicker); edit and share photos (Instagram); have a pin-board (Pinterest)? All of these features and more will be available just as you know them on these other sites. This is a site for all of us to use and enjoy and will provide the latest features of all the major sites.”
What if the pitch video for that website was a few kids, a rapper, and a hot blonde all shouting “Star Like Me, where the stars shine!” And then a lady explains how inconvenient multiple websites are? And it’s all in Eastern European accents, the official accent of sounding shady as fuck?
I’d like to congratulate these two actresses for their slick duo work. What seems to be the main monologue is in fact a patter set up for the mother’s impeccable timing, as she chimes in like the world’s most depressing hype man.
No real person could accidentally be this funny. These lines were honed for weeks by the Mr. Show writing team, then punched up by Mitchell and Webb. Each of those hiccups was a carefully timed sapphire placed on this jeweled crown.
Facebook is topping all our news feeds with obnoxious brand posts, while hiding updates from pages we actually liked. Clicking to hide the post leaves me feeling impotent. My colleague Henry likes to leave stupid comments on these promoted posts, punishing the brands for so desperately chasing his likes.
It looks like Kevin Matuszak is doing that, but on a grand scale. He’s begging Applebee’s to hire him, in a Facebook comment thread that’s gotten 182 comments and 265 likes. And whoever runs the Applebee’s Facebook page has been responding every now and then, checking on his progress — and then helping him along. They’re trying to turn it into a publicity stunt. A very silly, stupid, actually-fun publicity stunt.
On Monday, Kevin wrote on the Applebee’s Facebook timeline: “hi, can I work for you?” They replied, “Check if your local Applebee’s is hiring!”
But Kevin said he wanted a job at corporate. And he kept bugging them. With updates like these: