Let’s face it, fashionistas. We are in an “ever-changing” world of clothing and style (pun not intended, but pointed out by the Library of Congress, and, admittedly, VERY clever). A world where one finds out something is passé even before they knew it was totally safe and sé to begin with.

In order to navigate these seas of pleats and petticoats, meadows of barrettes and blush, and these jails of ball-and-chains and striped coveralls, guidance must be given. Why not take that guidance from me? After all, I am most qualified. As you recall, I am considered by most to be the “Boston Market” of fashion (i.e “the best, exhibiting the most consistence in quality and standard of excellence” in fashion).

• First off, clogs are very “in” this year. However, ATTN: my fashionistas, NOT the shoes.
• Girdles are NOT just for the waist anymore! Some of the leaders of the field are beginning to use them as accessories to the thighs, head, and car. (Most notably, those leaders with big, fat thighs, heads and cars.)
• Please remember, with this rhyme, to wear a watch to tell the time!
• A tip for the corporate fashionista: Lay out your clothes for the workweek, attached to the names of those you wish to impress with each respective outfit. To get you rolling, I suggest “the boss”, “payroll” and “the big boss”.
• Attn: Fashionistos: Tuxedos = Succeed-os. Please be wearing one at all times, to avoid insults, complaints (both verbal and e-mailed), and mandatory community-service sentences.

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