It’s really sad to see everyone fall for the Facebook copyright notice hoax. You guys realize that just declaring something on your Facebook status doesn’t make it legally so, right?
“Steve, what day did you send out the election-related merchandise email newsletter?”
“Oh, months ago! Back when it made any sense for someone to buy a design that would be rendered obsolete tomorrow! Sorry just a sec I need to go write a… thing.”
Everyone loved my texts from Mitt Romney in September, but no one told me how to make him stop. Even when I had no cell signal after the hurricane, Mitt somehow kept reaching me. Here they are. I really hope he doesn’t get elected, or he’ll keep talking to me.
After delaying the Republican National Convention (RNC) to avoid damage from Not a Climate Change Event Isaac, the Republican National Committee (for some stupid reason, also RNC) has released a highly compressed schedule for the RNC (Convention, not Committee). In response, we here at Slacktory have compiled a helpful guide to the most important parts of the Convention so you can catch all your favorite Republicans!
Tuesday Aug. 28, 2012
4:00 PM – Roll Call for Nomination of President of the United States
The delegates from each state will be called in alphabetical order to submit their vote for the Republican nominee. Listen closely for the sound of Ron Paul devotees’ outlandish scenarios and ludicrous hopes being dashed against the rocks of political reality. This is the primary business of the convention! This is why we’re here, and it’s like the third thing they do on day one. For some reason, no one goes home after this.
Matt Romney and Rob Paul are running for president. What that means is two funny, absurd Twitter and Facebook personas are mocking politics by showing what it would look like if a couple of half-illiterate weirdo suburbans ran for office on completely unfulfillable platforms. You know, like in the real world.
We’ve written about these guys before, and now our colleague Chris Donahue scored an interview.
First of all I want to thank both of you for taking the time out of your busy campaigning schedule to sit down with me.
Matt Romney – thank u. im just gonna party later instead of right now but its ok.
Rob Paul – It is an asbolute pleasure to speak to anyone in the mainstream media illuminati thank you for having me and I hope that I can perform your secret handshake correctly every time I promise I will work on it and I’m sorry I knocked the coffee into your lap it was an Iced coffee and you had the lid on it but a little got on your dungarees they’re dark so it doesn’t show that much sorry again
It’s not a problem. Rob, this first question is for you. You were running for President but decided to step down and run as Vice. What’s that all about?
Matt Romney (not Mitt’s son) is a fictional character based on a simple idea: What if a typical email-forwarding blue-collar guy from your small hometown ran for president?
Matt Romney mostly exists as a Facebook page and a Twitter account. The schtick is that an embarrassingly out-of-touch adult (a “Don’t Dad”) discusses how he’d run the country, which looks horribly familiar to those of us with backward upbringings, and I assume laughably absurd to everyone else.
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