Slacktory

  1. Woody Allen is the Terminator

    Woody Allen is the Terminator

  2. We're not so different Scary Movie 3

    We’re not so different, you and I

  3. Machine gun firing in movie

    Gunplay: A tribute to gunfights in film

  4. Apt 8 News Jackie caught eating

    Apt 8 News: Episode 1

  5. Arrested Development fake websites - I'm Oscar dot com

    Arrested Development’s fakest websites

  6. Anthropologie Girls Pictures

    Anthropologie Girls

  7. Anchorman in phone booth

    Don’t go in the phone booth

Posts Tagged “music”

  1. Broccoli Rob

    Broccoli Rob is a real live children’s entertainer who feels exactly like a charming mockumentary character

    “I go to the school weeks after the show, and the kids come over to me and say, ‘Hey Broccoli Rob, I ate my spinach last night!’ or ‘I ate my broccoli!’”

    Broccoli Rob wears a green wig and sings about fruits and vegetables to schoolchildren in Long Island. He does a martial-arts bit, he has a Lady Gaga parody, and from afar, as my friend Cole Stryker pointed out, he looks eerily like weirdo comedian Scott Gairdner, and his promo video sounds just like a Gairdner bit. But he’s really real! He’s also a normal adult country musician named Robert Poe.

    Watch Broccoli Rob impersonate Elvis running from a hot dog for children. »

  2. Pitchfork logo pixellated

    How music reviews should work

    Why do we still have music reviews? Just tell me if the album is good, right?

    Do I like songs that “find magnificence in destruction and build an aesthetic out of decay and loss”? I don’t know! I don’t know if that’s a thing I like. If a song is “as blustery, blunt, and obvious as the emotions described therein” then that could be super fun, or it could be annoying. I have no idea until I play the song. Those quotes are from actual Pitchfork reviews, by the way.

    Just gimme ten words, and a five-star scale.

    Music reviews should be like:

    “Is good song. Is sad. You listen song when sad. It make cries.”

    “Harsh. Loud. Scary. Headbang.”

    “Album no good as single. You like single? You listen this other album instead.”

    “Song very happy, very jumpy. You like it for three days repeat, then you tired. Maybe it embarrass you though in sex playlist.”

    I do find Pitchfork useful, though. I love everything they rate from 5.4 to 8.1, and loathe nearly everything lower or higher.

  3. Green Day band Benjamin Moore paint colors

    Band or Benjamin Moore paint color?

    Answers at the bottom.

     

    See more bands and paint colors. »

  4. Hot Cheetos and Takis

    Hot Cheetos & Takis

    Oh god everyone else already knew about this and I didn’t. “Hot Cheetos & Takis” is a hip-hop song that’s been climbing up YouTube for three weeks. It’s kids singing about Hot Cheetos, which are a food, and Takis, which are another food. The group is called Y.N.RichKids and the goddamn Washington Post wrote them up.

    But about this song! They have “snacks on snacks on snacks”! And an earthquake-bass video effect that I want to use in something! And one mush-mouthed kid at 2:45 who, I am told, has been compared to Mystikal.

    I will now go around saying “Oh that? Yeah I liked it when it was called Titties and Carrot Cake.” Because that will make me feel comfortable and “hip” despite the clear evidence that my grip on pop culture is slipping.

    Come watch

  5. Piracy-Proof Band Names

    • Track 01
    • OST
    • Bitrate
    • Audio Music
    • Magnet Link
    • Other terms that you find in file names for bands, that’s the joke, it’s just one joke over and over so let’s just abandon this now
  6. RAIN Beatles tribute band

    Six Reasons the Beatles Suck

    AUTHOR’S NOTE: Paul, John, George and – to a lesser extent – Ringo, please forgive me. I’ve been commissioned by Slacktory editor and known hedonist Nick Douglas to write a list of six reasons why the Beatles weren’t the greatest band of all time. I would have turned him down, but I’ve got two cats to feed and, well, I need the money.

    What’s worse is if this piece is well-received (or at least generates a significant amount of traffic), Nick will make me write other articles tearing apart the things I love. So please, stop reading now. Implore your friends and relatives to resist the brazen headline Nick’s bound to slap on this thing. And above all else, know that I’m so, so sorry.

    That said, here are six reasons why The Beatles kind of sort of maybe shouldn’t be considered the most innovative rock group of all time…

    Read the reasons. Click it! Don’t listen to Alex, he’s too soft! »

  7. girls performing industrial dance

    Slacktory’s Guide to Industrial Dance

    Ever see gothy kids rhythmically pumping their arms in a mall parking lot? That was Industrial Dance. Here’s how it works.

    Watch Alex Moschina break down Industrial Dance. »

  8. Shirtless Ian Malcolm holds a Fender guitar in Jurassic Park

    Other Jurassic Park Lines That Would Make Good Band Names

    There’s a drum-bass-cello band called You Bred Raptors?, says WNYC’s Soundcheck. “That reminds me, every line in Jurassic Park would make a good band name,” says me. Viz:

    • Life Finds a Way
    • Clever Girl
    • In the Hands of Engineers
    • Whether or Not They Could
    • The Magic Word
    • Pull Up the Dinosaurs’ Skirts
    • I Refuse to Believe You’re Not Familiar With the Concept of Attraction
    • Fast for a Biped
    • Hold Onto Your Butts
    • Full 50 Miles of Perimeter Fence
    • Are They Heavy
    • The Rape of the Natural World
    • We Have Dodgson Here
    • Kids Get Scared
    • A Deplorable Excess of Personality
    • Six Foot Turkey
    • I’m a Hacker
    • Do-You-Think-He-Saurus Rex
    • An Aim Not Devoid of Merit
    • The Pirates Don’t Eat the Tourists
    • The Future Ex-Mrs. Malcolm
    • People Are Dying
    • Must Go Faster
    • Woman Inherits the Earth
  9. Cookie Monster held hostage

    Is the Cookie Monster in the “Call Me Maybe” Parody the Real Cookie Monster?

    Sesame Street made a Cookie Monster parody of “Call Me Maybe” called “Share It Maybe”. Is this awesome, Y/N?

    Legitimate question. On the one hand, it’s Sesame Street. And Sesame Street is one of the Four Unassailables, along with the Muppets, Mr. Rogers, and Johnny Cash. There’s only one permitted criticism, and that’s about Elmo’s rise to power. You certainly don’t criticize Cookie Monster.

    On the other hand… is this really Cookie Monster?

    The chorus keeps an original line from the chorus: “This is crazy.” And every time Cookie sings it, it sounds fake. Grammatical. Cookie Monster can in fact be eloquent — look how he swindles Kermit out of a cookie. He uses idioms like “off chance” and “you know?” He tells Kermit “Arrivederci, frog,” which is both bilingual and metonymic. And then he delivers a Mark-Antony-esque speech about friendship and commitment. But nowhere in there does he combine a proximal demonstrative with a properly conjugated verb. “This is” is not a Cookie Monster phrase.

    Is this false note coming through because he’s being forced to read someone else’s writing? Is this just a Bad Lip Reading? Or is this an imitator? Is this Cookie Monster actually Tyler Cassidy?

    Possibly not. Read the evidence that this is, in fact, Cookie Monster. »

  10. Kesha glowing about an 808 drum

    Repeating Like an 808 (36 Songs That Shout Out to the TR-808)

    Why do pop stars and rappers constantly give shout-outs to the Roland TR-808 drum kit? Hip-hop artists first fell in love with it because it cost just under two thousand bucks. Contemporary artists love its distinct sound. Ke$ha relates to a tool that got way more popular than its superior-sounding competitors.

    Hear 36 songs that reference the 808. »

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