[SCENE: Interior, sub-basement room of the White House, where ghosts live because obviously that's true. The ghosts of several former Presidents - Andrew Jackson, John Adams, Grover Cleveland, Martin Van Buren (ugh), and Woodrow Wilson - have gathered to watch the night's coverage of the Democratic National Convention on CSPAN. It's your usual party. Everyone has brought the cheapest bottle of wine and some variation of Sabra hummus. No one bothered to remember crackers or pita. Basically, there is a lot of hummus.]
Adams: Okay, I don’t know what to say now. “I like Bill Clinton’s approach to policy, government, and its varying nuisances”?
Jackson: IT’S JUST THAT I DON’T THINK THAT-
Jackson: IT’S NOT FAIR.
Matt Romney and Rob Paul are running for president. What that means is two funny, absurd Twitter and Facebook personas are mocking politics by showing what it would look like if a couple of half-illiterate weirdo suburbans ran for office on completely unfulfillable platforms. You know, like in the real world.
We’ve written about these guys before, and now our colleague Chris Donahue scored an interview.
First of all I want to thank both of you for taking the time out of your busy campaigning schedule to sit down with me.
Matt Romney – thank u. im just gonna party later instead of right now but its ok.
Rob Paul – It is an asbolute pleasure to speak to anyone in the mainstream media illuminati thank you for having me and I hope that I can perform your secret handshake correctly every time I promise I will work on it and I’m sorry I knocked the coffee into your lap it was an Iced coffee and you had the lid on it but a little got on your dungarees they’re dark so it doesn’t show that much sorry again
It’s not a problem. Rob, this first question is for you. You were running for President but decided to step down and run as Vice. What’s that all about?
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