Slacktory

  1. Woody Allen is the Terminator

    Woody Allen is the Terminator

  2. We're not so different Scary Movie 3

    We’re not so different, you and I

  3. Machine gun firing in movie

    Gunplay: A tribute to gunfights in film

  4. Apt 8 News Jackie caught eating

    Apt 8 News: Episode 1

  5. Arrested Development fake websites - I'm Oscar dot com

    Arrested Development’s fakest websites

  6. Anthropologie Girls Pictures

    Anthropologie Girls

  7. Anchorman in phone booth

    Don’t go in the phone booth

Posts Tagged “relationships”

  1. Stories behind 30 stock photos of unhappy couples in bed

    Unhappy couple in bed 38

    “How did she see my tattoo? I covered it with two tank tops!”

    See 29 more unhappy couples in bed. »

  2. world war 2 soldiers

    An awkward situation in the middle of a war

    Comedian Travis Kurtz sent us this sketch he shot for SyFy’s Viral Video Showdown. It’s about a World War II soldier who gets an awkward mission. It’s CollegeHumor-esque, in a good way.

    Watch this corny-funny 90-second sketch. »

  3. Laura Grey and Jordan Klepper on a couch

    Every relationship is like this couch.

    ‘The Couch’ is a one-minute sketch by Klepper and Grey, whom we like.

    Watch ‘The Couch’. »

  4. Breakups and email

    That last time you meet up with an ex so she can give you all your stuff back is like when you unsubscribe from a mailing list and then they send you that one final “you’ve been successfully unsubscribed” email.

    Only nobody’s ever accidentally had sex with that final email. “I don’t know what happened! I just saw that newsletter and all those old feelings and habits came back! I just banged that email, right there on the table.”

    That is how breakups and email are different.

  5. Jeff Goldblum thinks

    Jeff Goldblum, Advice Columnist

    Please welcome Slacktory’s newest advice columnist, actor and universe-fetishist Jeff Goldblum.

    What kind of gelato do you eat together on a first date?

    — @ElviPatterson on Twitter

    Ah! Ah-ha! Gelato! Yes! This is an important question. But then, oh, yes, every question is important. When-when-when a child asks why is the seafoam green or why…why was I ever even born if life is so meaningless…these aren’t funny questions! These are serious—Oh! Oh yes! Life is important. Your question, even though it seems…it seems…I’m sorry to say, it seems stupid. It’s very stupid. But yes, unless, it’s not stupid! Unless it is important! Life’s important! Life finds a way!

    Read the rest of Jeff Goldblum’s advice. »

  6. Unhappy couples in bed

    Unhappy Couples in Bed

    While researching a premature ejaculation joke, I discovered hundreds of stock photos, all of unhappy couples in bed.

    All unhappy couples are not unhappy in their own way. I’ve learned that unhappy couples wear a lot of clothes to bed, and that they sit on opposite sides and hold their heads a lot. Their bedrooms are usually white. The men rest pillows in their laps. They are definitely not having sex.

    See what’s wrong with 21 unhappy couples in bed. »

  7. Speed Dating with Emma Koenig and Jeff Ward in bed

    Speed Dating: A Meta-Relationship

    We’re late on this too — David Seger and Emma Koenig’s short film summarizing dating life. There’s a name for this “Academy-Award-Winning Movie” genre, where the characters talk about the tropes they’re playing out: [Trope Name]. Good genre!

    Watch ‘Speed Dating’. »

  8. Thought Catalog: 50 More Mature Ways to Leave Your Lover by Gaby Dunn

  9. Secret deodorant

    Reddit’s Latest “What’s Your Darkest Secret?” Thread Is Heartwarmingly Not About Murder and Incest This Time

    I don’t know why I even thought it was safe to read a “darkest secret” Reddit thread, after the horror of the “What secret could ruin your life if it came out?” thread. But I did, and this “What’s your darkest secret?” thread is a lot safer and normal and relatable. It’s just Larry-David or Louis-C.K. bad, not Dexter bad.

    The original poster’s confession:

    My petname for my wife is “Doc”. She thinks it’s because she’s a doctor. It’s really because she’s 4’9″, and Doc was the first dwarf I could think of.

    A lot of us have brettliketrains‘s problem:

    I’m sorry mom, there is such thing as “browsing history”.

    Is Scuttlebuttz93‘s story cute? Is it only cute the way some colors look brighter when they’re next to much darker colors?

    Not really a secret, but going with the theme of your secret my nickname for my best friend is “Butterfly” not because she’s beautiful, but because if you rub her skin her tons of foundation will rub off on you like pigment off a butterfly’s wings.

    Read more bad-but-not-as-bad-as-that-other-thread confessions. »

  10. wishing well

    Ask an Evil Genie: Witness Protection

    Meredith Haggerty bought a lamp off Etsy and discovered an evil genie. She wished to have a column in a prestigious blog, and the genie gave her this.

    The Evil Genie answers three questions a week, so leave a wish in the comments and check Wednesday to see if it’s answered!

    Nick wishes: Genie, could my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend be placed in some kind of witness protection kind of thing? I don’t want to cause any trouble.

    Genie replies: First of all, if you don’t want to cause trouble, you don’t bring your problems to an evil genie. Go take a fistful of pennies and hang out in a shopping mall wishing well.

    After witnessing the gangland triple murder of your parents and their brand new puppy, your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend is whisked into witness protection. Well, not whisked exactly– first, he has to stand up in court. For his bravery in testifying against “Short Legs” Marscapone, a notorious crime boss, your enemy is hailed as a hero. As you mourn the loss of your parents, everyone else is focused on your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend; the media heaps praise on him, your mayor gives him a the key to the city, your extended family wants to put him up for sainthood, and bureaucrats argue fiercely about whether he should be honored with a school or a bridge or a hospital wing.

    Your girlfriend, for her part, stays by your side, but never seems to tear her eyes away from the extensive TV coverage.

    It gets worse. »

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