“How did she see my tattoo? I covered it with two tank tops!”
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Arrested Godfather
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Goldman Sachs Kickstarter project
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Arrested Development: George Bluth loves prison
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The ultimate Arrested Development supercut
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Drive Deplorably with Steven Spielberg
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Doctor Who’s fakest websites
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Venture Bros.: Best of Colonel Hunter Gathers
Posts Tagged “sex”
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Nick’s tips for gettin’ laid
If these tips can’t get you laid, then any other tips probably still can.
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SkyMall Friends
What if the people in the SkyMall catalog hung out?
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Famous fedoras of OkCupid
I’m sick of getting messaged by all these fedora dweebs on OkCupid. Here are some of the worst losers who’ve messaged me.
Wow, didn’t think you were gonna molest me but now I do.
His interests include “supposing toeses are roses” and “singing in the rain.” Jesus Christ, Jazz Hands, get a new manic pixie dreamschtick.
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OPRAH interviews an asexual man
Welcome our newest cartoonist, Sara Lautman.
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This is everything: YOLO, a NSFW cartoon about chicks at the club
Normal girls, normal night out.
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The weirdest spam email wants love and commitment, not boners
If there’s one thing we all know about spam emails, it’s this: Spam robots want to talk about your wiener. They want to sell pills for your wiener, or they want to touch your wiener and you should really click through to their profile; they’re just so lonely and a good wiener touch is all they want.
For over a decade, spam emails have focused on sex and hookups and porn and V 1 A G R A, all in an attempt to speak to your most basic carnal desires. That’s all I thought they ever did.
At least I thought that up until yesterday, when I finally got a mature spam email.
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Breakups and email
That last time you meet up with an ex so she can give you all your stuff back is like when you unsubscribe from a mailing list and then they send you that one final “you’ve been successfully unsubscribed” email.
Only nobody’s ever accidentally had sex with that final email. “I don’t know what happened! I just saw that newsletter and all those old feelings and habits came back! I just banged that email, right there on the table.”
That is how breakups and email are different.
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It hurts when you do that (A monologue)
Ow. Seriously. Please stop that. I can’t imagine a situation in which that would feel good. Do you think that some girls would actually enjoy that? Is it a European thing or something? Maybe you picked it up during that semester you spent in Italy.
But, um, when not in Rome, man. Honestly, that wasn’t desirable in the slightest. Can you hand me my pants? Wow, maybe some Neosporin, too.
Did your watch get caught down there or something? It felt like you were putting a pineapple in one end and pulling it out the other. Should I have enjoyed that? Do you want me to… am I supposed to do that to you now? Is there a bib or something I can wear?
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Awkward Sunrise: A show about sexy awkward sex-people
Awkward Sunrise is an utterly undiscovered web show about people having sex and talking. It’s shot crisply, and it ranges from “so relatable” to delightfully silly, without ever forcing a punchline. Each episode is a single two-minute scene.
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