Posts Tagged “WTF”

This Is Everything: This woman is definitely not real

I’d like to congratulate these two actresses for their slick duo work. What seems to be the main monologue is in fact a patter set up for the mother’s impeccable timing, as she chimes in like the world’s most depressing hype man.

No real person could accidentally be this funny. These lines were honed for weeks by the Mr. Show writing team, then punched up by Mitchell and Webb. Each of those hiccups was a carefully timed sapphire placed on this jeweled crown.

The bit where the mom pulls up her…

Yes, these women are definitely fake.

Watch what is clearly an elegant troll by a superteam of the world’s top comedians. »
- - 2012/11/29 at 3:57 pm
  - by Nick Douglas
- - 1008 views
  - 2 comments
- Filed under:This Is Everything
“Dressing up the cats (they’re gonna get married)”

This is actually the sanest video on this channel.

Watch the cats stop living in sin. »
- - 2012/11/15 at 9:00 am
  - by Nick Douglas
- - 174 views
  - No comments
- Filed under:Videos
The weirdest spam email wants love and commitment, not boners

If there’s one thing we all know about spam emails, it’s this: Spam robots want to talk about your wiener. They want to sell pills for your wiener, or they want to touch your wiener and you should really click through to their profile; they’re just so lonely and a good wiener touch is all they want.

For over a decade, spam emails have focused on sex and hookups and porn and V 1 A G R A, all in an attempt to speak to your most basic carnal desires. That’s all I thought they ever did.

At least I thought that up until yesterday, when I finally got a mature spam email.

Check out how unhorny this spam robot sounded. »
- - 2012/10/30 at 2:57 pm
  - by Henry Birdseye
- - 190 views
  - No comments
- Filed under:Whatevs
This Is Everything: Either the worst libertarian poet ever, or the sharpest comedian ever

Every time I think I know which, I change my mind.

Complaining about the tyranny of sidewalks and public parks is so Swansonesquely ludicrous that it has to be a joke. But I’ve seen too many crazy old conservatives on YouTube to think that someone couldn’t have legitimately made this argument.

Either way I just want to find more of this guy’s stuff. It looks like this video was copied onto someone else’s account. Anyone got a lead on the original?

Watch this razor-sharp wit or pretentious imbecilic rambling. »
- - 2012/10/26 at 3:26 pm
  - by Nick Douglas
- - 215 views
  - No comments
- Filed under:This Is Everything
“Take the R Train”: This hateful song is my fall jam

Watch this homophobic one-man music video that says Barack Obama is gay and promotes Mitt Romney with an extended train metaphor! It’s available in high-res 1080p because quality.

This is the 273rd video by William Tapley, “also known as the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse, and the Co-Prophet of the End Times.” I sincerely hope this man has children and grandchildren that are, like, normal people, and that they’re fully aware of Dad’s hobby. And that Dad believes his arthritis is a punishment from God.

Watch Tapley sing about Barack Obama over some pretty decent karaoke B-roll. »
- - 2012/10/15 at 5:29 pm
  - by Nick Douglas
- - 200 views
  - No comments
- Filed under:Videos
GIF Treatment: “Candy Candy” by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

There’s a Japanese pop artist who’s taking the world (i.e. everywhere but America) by STORM right now, and her name is Kyary Pamyu Pamyu. She started her career as a Harajuku fashion model. If you’ve ever seen Harajuku fashion, you may think it’s a word that translates to “tissue garbage”, but it’s actually the name of an area in Tokyo! So, given her background in bonkers Japanese fashion, it should come as no surprise that her music videos are crazy enough to put also-wears-garbage Lady Gaga to shame.

Her music video for “Candy” starts off with a sense of urgency, with our protagonist running down the street in heels with a piece of toast in her mouth.

And then it gets weirder. »
- - 2012/07/30 at 5:17 pm
  - by Henry Birdseye
- - 1273 views
  - 2 comments
- Filed under:Whatevs
Sherlock Holmes and Ariel From “The Little Mermaid” Make Out

Slash-fiction music videos get really damn weird. Unfortunately, their soundtracks do not. Why is someone interesting enough to cram a cartoon mermaid into a frame with Robert Downey, Jr. still listening to Kelly Clarkson?

Also, is it more pathetic when I imagine myself as Holmes kissing Ariel, or as Ariel kissing Holmes?

Watch and decide. »
- - 2012/05/24 at 4:01 pm
  - by Nick Douglas
- - 196 views
  - No comments
- Filed under:Bowels of the Internet
Reddit’s “What Secret Could Ruin Your Life if It Came Out?” Thread Is a Harrowing Descent Into the Darkest Reaches of the Human Soul

A recent AskReddit thread titled Throwaway time! What’s your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out? got people creating temporary accounts, then confessing their deepest, darkest secrets. The results ranged from creepy-but-cute, to fascinating, to horrifying.

I hope to walk you through that gigantic thread, because there were so many weird confessions, and browsing the comments on Reddit is time-consuming. Consider this a highlight reel of car crashes, I guess. I’m your Virgil, guiding you through Hell and Purgatory. I’m not condoning any of this, but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t fascinating.

Another thing about this thread: It’s uncommon to see this level of honesty anywhere. People created (relatively) anonymous accounts and dumped their secrets onto the internet for everyone to see, with many posters saying they’d never shared their secrets with anyone before. This thread was exhausting to read, and with recent research suggesting that we, as people, carry secrets not just as emotional burdens, but as physical ones as well, at least now I understand why.

From here on out, things are about to get dark and/or gross. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. »
- - 2012/05/02 at 11:17 am
  - by Henry Birdseye
- - 150869 views
  - 23 comments
- Filed under:Reddit Thread
This is What Happens When You Let Strangers Add Annotations to Your YouTube Video

A man on the YouTube account IslamCollection posted a video (above) in which he argued against atheism pretty condescendingly, then allowed anyone to add annotations to his video. The account seems to exist for the sole purpose of trolling atheists, with video titles like “Why Atheism and Homosexuality are unnatural” and “Scientists have REJECTED Evolution – atheism refuted 2”. Serious or not, the person behind this account seems like kind of a dick.

That said, the annotations people are leaving on this video are terrible. The annotated video’s a little fascinating if you can treat this like an anthropological exercise and pretend that YouTube commenters are just animals doing fucked up animal shit.

The guy’s a jerk, the commenters are worse. Everyone is terrible. »
- - 2012/03/03 at 10:30 am
  - by Henry Birdseye
- - 216 views
  - No comments
- Filed under:Videos
WHHHYYYYY is There a Subreddit Dedicated to Matt Damon + My Little Pony?

Reddit’s certainly no stranger to bizarro subreddits. There’s one for Team Fortress 2 fashion advice, and another that appears to be about nothing but the letter G. They’re specific to the point of being absurd. That’s how these things work.

Then today I found the one that’s all about Matt Damon + My Little Pony. »
- - 2012/01/26 at 6:30 pm
  - by Henry Birdseye
- - 1762 views
  - No comments
- Filed under:Whatevs